As someone who has wanted to experience the thrill of international journalism since I was in high school, I was excited to join the Florida FlyIns program at the UF College of Journalism and Communications.
But as the day we fly to Andros Island in the Bahamas approaches, my excitement is mixing with anxiety.
It's not because I'm afraid I will be mangled by a monster that prowls the jungle of a mysterious island in one of my favorite TV shows, Lost. Nor am I afraid of Andros' own version of the Loch Ness Monster, the Lusca.
What frightens me is the prospect that I will have to spend almost a week with a source and really delve into their humanity. I've never had to build and sustain a human connection with a source as long as I will for this trip. I grew familiar with many of the contacts I made as Multicultural reporter at the Alligator, but I never spent days following them around.
My best stories are complex and driven by strong characters, but I usually have many different sources and can choose which will provide the most powerful story for the article. But the island's population is so small and spread out, it will be difficult to do that again.
I like making an article have emotional depth, but, as a person with autism, it's hard to bond on that level or even stay in a source's presence for more than an hour.
But this story is different. I won't say what the story is, but it's much softer than what I'm used to writing. Prof. Mike Foley, who teaches reporting and other classes at the college, calls it an "extra credit story" that some people might not care about. I'm going to have to show the source's humanity by getting every little detail and exploring every niche of his personality to make people read the story.
And that terrifies me.
But then I realize that all those challenges are part of the art of the storytelling. And the task then don't seem as stressful. It turns into something more fun.
This blog will probably be on vacation until I get back to the United States. Have fun, everyone.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Look me in the eyes
Interviewing can be awkward for many journalists. It's downright frightening for someone who is autistic.
If you're calling a source over the phone, you half-heartedly hope he or she won't pick up so you don't have to stutter your name and the reason you're calling. When you're about to interview someone in person and notice him or her waiting for you, you creep toward the nearest wall and feel like you need to escape the area before you're noticed.
You can feel a source's eyes on you as you stare at your notes. You watch the source smile as you fumble to ask questions and feel like you're being an inconvenience.
When I first started covering stories as a stringer for The Independent Florida Alligator at the University of Florida, I would do anything possible to avoid speaking to sources, even though I needed and wanted to. I would sit at the back of the room during events I was reporting on so I could blend in with the audience and be unobtrusive.
I would resist asking sources how much an event cost because it seemed rude and embarassing. And the last thing a person with autism wants is to appear rude or stupid.
But I later learned that you have to give up all your preconceptions to tell someone's story right. After being reprimanded by the managing editor of the Alligator at the time, I realized that an article I wrote on an annual conference for Asian Americans resembled little more than a press release. I had failed to ask tough questions because I was afraid of invading their privacy.
I stuck to "safe" questions like why they had come to the conference and how thy hoped to benefit from it. I only conducted five-to-10 minute interviews.
The next semester, I knew I had to better. After teenagers were accused of killing a homeless man and seriously injuring two others in separate attacks in South Florida in early 2006, I decided to write an article about whether Gainesville's homeless had ever been attacked by college students or younger people.
I knew I had to talk to homeless living on the street to get a full story, but failed to work up the nerve on my first trips. As my self-appointed deadline approached, I realized I couldn't put the interviews off anymore and started a conversation with a couple homeless men sitting at the intersection of Southwest 13th Street and West University Avenue.
After I got past the awkward introductions, the interviews were surprisingly easy. And I realized the anxiety I felt before an interview almost disappeared when I just bucked up and did my job. The article also helped me realize how much I enjoyed in-depth reporting.
I'm writing this to prove that if I could face my fears of asking tough questions, almost anyone can. You just have to take a deep breath, meet a source's gaze and jump into the conversation.
Wow. This is another long and heavy post. I promise I'm going to work a more fun one in here later.
If you're calling a source over the phone, you half-heartedly hope he or she won't pick up so you don't have to stutter your name and the reason you're calling. When you're about to interview someone in person and notice him or her waiting for you, you creep toward the nearest wall and feel like you need to escape the area before you're noticed.
You can feel a source's eyes on you as you stare at your notes. You watch the source smile as you fumble to ask questions and feel like you're being an inconvenience.
When I first started covering stories as a stringer for The Independent Florida Alligator at the University of Florida, I would do anything possible to avoid speaking to sources, even though I needed and wanted to. I would sit at the back of the room during events I was reporting on so I could blend in with the audience and be unobtrusive.
I would resist asking sources how much an event cost because it seemed rude and embarassing. And the last thing a person with autism wants is to appear rude or stupid.
But I later learned that you have to give up all your preconceptions to tell someone's story right. After being reprimanded by the managing editor of the Alligator at the time, I realized that an article I wrote on an annual conference for Asian Americans resembled little more than a press release. I had failed to ask tough questions because I was afraid of invading their privacy.
I stuck to "safe" questions like why they had come to the conference and how thy hoped to benefit from it. I only conducted five-to-10 minute interviews.
The next semester, I knew I had to better. After teenagers were accused of killing a homeless man and seriously injuring two others in separate attacks in South Florida in early 2006, I decided to write an article about whether Gainesville's homeless had ever been attacked by college students or younger people.
I knew I had to talk to homeless living on the street to get a full story, but failed to work up the nerve on my first trips. As my self-appointed deadline approached, I realized I couldn't put the interviews off anymore and started a conversation with a couple homeless men sitting at the intersection of Southwest 13th Street and West University Avenue.
After I got past the awkward introductions, the interviews were surprisingly easy. And I realized the anxiety I felt before an interview almost disappeared when I just bucked up and did my job. The article also helped me realize how much I enjoyed in-depth reporting.
I'm writing this to prove that if I could face my fears of asking tough questions, almost anyone can. You just have to take a deep breath, meet a source's gaze and jump into the conversation.
Wow. This is another long and heavy post. I promise I'm going to work a more fun one in here later.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Meet Hans and the autistic bubble- The BBI Post (That's Boring But Important information for you non-journalism majors)
Before we go on, I thought I should give more information on the information on the condition that helped shape my personality.
Asperger's Syndrome was first diagnosed in the 1940s by Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician who referred to children with the disorder as"little professors." And with their formal way of speaking and social awkwardness, the description couldn't be more appropriate.
Asperger's findings did not attract attention in the U.S. until the 1990s, which means many patients tended to be misdiagnosed with more severe disorders.
Symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome can include an inability to appropriately use and understand nonverbal communication, a failure to socially and emotionally bond with others and a reluctance to socialize.
The disorder is included in the autistic spectrum and can develop to varying degrees of severity.
Everyone has different symptoms. It took me until high school to learn how to properly maintain eye contact with others, but I usually didn't have a problem with comprehending what I read like others might.
I compare having Asperger's to being trapped in a mobile plastic bubble. You can have fun partying or talking with your friends, but you often feel like there's a transparent barrier separating you from the people you care about. You never truly feel like one of them. And you don't really know how you or anyone else can break that barrier.
Sometimes you just stop trying to break the bubble and resign yourself to retreating into a fantasy world of books and video games, like I used to do. But if you're persistent or can find someone who can help you, you can find the barrier's weak point and break out of the bubble.
Journalism was the way I felt I could pop the bubble. And it seems like the mainstream and informal media's potential to help people communicate is attractive to others with the condition, as well as their supporters. While writing this post, I've found two interesting Youtube videos. One was produced by a teenager with Asperger's.
The other is made by the father of an autistic boy.
Hope you enjoy them. I'm going to make the next post more fun and lighter since I'm realizing this is pretty heavy.
Asperger's Syndrome was first diagnosed in the 1940s by Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician who referred to children with the disorder as"little professors." And with their formal way of speaking and social awkwardness, the description couldn't be more appropriate.
Asperger's findings did not attract attention in the U.S. until the 1990s, which means many patients tended to be misdiagnosed with more severe disorders.
Symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome can include an inability to appropriately use and understand nonverbal communication, a failure to socially and emotionally bond with others and a reluctance to socialize.
The disorder is included in the autistic spectrum and can develop to varying degrees of severity.
Everyone has different symptoms. It took me until high school to learn how to properly maintain eye contact with others, but I usually didn't have a problem with comprehending what I read like others might.
I compare having Asperger's to being trapped in a mobile plastic bubble. You can have fun partying or talking with your friends, but you often feel like there's a transparent barrier separating you from the people you care about. You never truly feel like one of them. And you don't really know how you or anyone else can break that barrier.
Sometimes you just stop trying to break the bubble and resign yourself to retreating into a fantasy world of books and video games, like I used to do. But if you're persistent or can find someone who can help you, you can find the barrier's weak point and break out of the bubble.
Journalism was the way I felt I could pop the bubble. And it seems like the mainstream and informal media's potential to help people communicate is attractive to others with the condition, as well as their supporters. While writing this post, I've found two interesting Youtube videos. One was produced by a teenager with Asperger's.
The other is made by the father of an autistic boy.
Hope you enjoy them. I'm going to make the next post more fun and lighter since I'm realizing this is pretty heavy.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Blogging at last
Journalism should be my last choice for a career. As a college student with high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome, a disorder on the autistic spectrum, conversation is awkward at the best of times and terrifying at the worst of times. The very thought of interviewing someone should force me to drop from my seat and curl into a fetal position.
But the intrigue and excitement of journalism lured me into choosing it as a profession and way of life. And it changed me from a scared student into someone with the confidence to write compelling stories. Forcing myself to talk to people and form human connections with my sources helped me learn to socialize with other students and gave me courage.
I think blogging will help me communicate what it's like for an autistic person to deal with the same issues other reporters, such as convincing reluctant sources to talk, asking hard questions, ethical issues and so on. It's also a way to discuss how I cope with college life differently from other college students.
One caveat: If this blog stops being fun and starts being mopey and too focused on how awesome I am, you readers -all two of you- have to let me know so we can make it enjoyable again. All right. Hope you have fun reading this blog.
But the intrigue and excitement of journalism lured me into choosing it as a profession and way of life. And it changed me from a scared student into someone with the confidence to write compelling stories. Forcing myself to talk to people and form human connections with my sources helped me learn to socialize with other students and gave me courage.
I think blogging will help me communicate what it's like for an autistic person to deal with the same issues other reporters, such as convincing reluctant sources to talk, asking hard questions, ethical issues and so on. It's also a way to discuss how I cope with college life differently from other college students.
One caveat: If this blog stops being fun and starts being mopey and too focused on how awesome I am, you readers -all two of you- have to let me know so we can make it enjoyable again. All right. Hope you have fun reading this blog.
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