Look me in the eyes

Interviewing can be awkward for many journalists. It's downright frightening for someone who is autistic.

If you're calling a source over the phone, you half-heartedly hope he or she won't pick up so you don't have to stutter your name and the reason you're calling. When you're about to interview someone in person and notice him or her waiting for you, you creep toward the nearest wall and feel like you need to escape the area before you're noticed.

You can feel a source's eyes on you as you stare at your notes. You watch the source smile as you fumble to ask questions and feel like you're being an inconvenience.

When I first started covering stories as a stringer for The Independent Florida Alligator at the University of Florida, I would do anything possible to avoid speaking to sources, even though I needed and wanted to. I would sit at the back of the room during events I was reporting on so I could blend in with the audience and be unobtrusive.

I would resist asking sources how much an event cost because it seemed rude and embarassing. And the last thing a person with autism wants is to appear rude or stupid.

But I later learned that you have to give up all your preconceptions to tell someone's story right. After being reprimanded by the managing editor of the Alligator at the time, I realized that an article I wrote on an annual conference for Asian Americans resembled little more than a press release. I had failed to ask tough questions because I was afraid of invading their privacy.

I stuck to "safe" questions like why they had come to the conference and how thy hoped to benefit from it. I only conducted five-to-10 minute interviews.

The next semester, I knew I had to better. After teenagers were accused of killing a homeless man and seriously injuring two others in separate attacks in South Florida in early 2006, I decided to write an article about whether Gainesville's homeless had ever been attacked by college students or younger people.

I knew I had to talk to homeless living on the street to get a full story, but failed to work up the nerve on my first trips. As my self-appointed deadline approached, I realized I couldn't put the interviews off anymore and started a conversation with a couple homeless men sitting at the intersection of Southwest 13th Street and West University Avenue.

After I got past the awkward introductions, the interviews were surprisingly easy. And I realized the anxiety I felt before an interview almost disappeared when I just bucked up and did my job. The article also helped me realize how much I enjoyed in-depth reporting.

I'm writing this to prove that if I could face my fears of asking tough questions, almost anyone can. You just have to take a deep breath, meet a source's gaze and jump into the conversation.

Wow. This is another long and heavy post. I promise I'm going to work a more fun one in here later.